Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Classy Manifesto

The Classy Manifesto:

An overview of the basic principles of classiness:

Classiness is more than a philosophy, it is more than a state of mind, it is a way of life, and more; it is the ultimate goal, the motivating force in life to heighten one’s own level of classiness and to spread the way and knowledge of class to those unfortunate enough to not be classy.

Classiness, then is the penultimate manner of living, the following manifesto outlines the rules, laws and principles of classiness. It should serve as a guidebook for living one’s life and a tool to spread class to those unfortunate classless heathens.

Classiness shall always be an exclusive club; if everyone is classy nobody is classy. Classiness is on surface relative, but at its most basic and fundamental core Classiness has certain undilutible, undeniable qualities and principles that are not relative. These principles include poise, matching attire, and other indescribable but innate qualities. When spreading the knowledge of class keep an eye out for these qualities, there are those who deserve to be shown the ways of classiness, who possess these innate qualities, and there are those who do not possess these innate qualities, those who do not deserve to be shown classiness. A classy person will know when they meet someone whether they are classy or not; and whether they deserve to be shown the ways of classiness or not. A few basic rules one should keep in mind; communists, socialists, trade unionists and Frenchmen (they’re all the same thing) are not classy, or deserving of being taught the ways of class.

The following are rules to abide by:
-Martini’s are made with Gin not Vodka. Vodka Martinis are not classy. Unless you are James Bond, in which case you can drink whatever you please. For the rest of you, do not question this precept.
-Class is not trendy, it is timeless, everlasting trends may come about and try to overwhelm class but class will always prevail, always.
-Clothing must always match, and must always be worn properly; this is essential to being classy.
-Obvious pretension for pretension’s sake is not classy. However, pretension is classy when it is natural, fitting and necessary, pretension is part of classiness but it must never appear to be forced, it should always flow naturally or at least appear as if it is your natural state. Forced class is not classy; it makes you appear a fool.

Those who are classy will already know what classy is, they won’t even need this manifesto, those who are intrinsically classy are the classy, if one reads this manifesto in the hopes of achieving classiness, abandon hope now. You will only achieve a faux classiness an imitation of the ideal classiness, a state achieved b those who are truly classy, intrinsically, inherently classy. Those who achieve a level of faux class will only full those on the same level of class or below, those who are inherently classy will immediately notice that you are not truly classy.


  1. Dude, it shall def live on forever, fosho, good sir.